7 Things Parents Do That Drive Teachers Crazy

As a teacher, I have had the opportunity to interact with hundreds of parents. Most parents are wonderful, intelligent, and a pleasure to work with. Some, on the other hand, do things that are counterproductive and even harmful. Here are seven things parents do that drive teachers crazy.

1. Not returning our phone calls or emails.

I have 150 students. I promise, I will not call you or email you unless I need to. If I am attempting to communicate with you it is either because I am concerned with your child’s academic performance, or I am concerned with their behavior. Not only do I want to make you aware of the situation, I also want your input. Students perform and behave better in school when they know that teachers and parents are on the same page and are supporting each other.

2. Not attending conferences.

I realize that not everyone is able to make it to conferences. If you are working or out of town or have a bunch of little kids and no babysitter, you get a pass. Everyone else, take an hour out of your day once or twice a year and go to your kids’ conferences. This lets your kid know that you value their education and how they are doing in school. It helps me feel comfortable communicating with you, and gives me an opportunity to discuss things that may not have warranted an individual phone call, but are still worth discussing. It gives you a chance to see where your kid spends the majority of their time and put a face with the name you may be hearing a lot.

3. Not checking your kid’s grades online.

C’mon, it’s not that hard. I’m not saying you have to check every day, but once a week or a couple times a month, log in to your school’s online grade system and see you how your kid is doing. Most systems can even be set up to send you weekly emails. Again, I have 150 students. I have to prioritize which parents get called. It’s triage, really. I can’t call every parent about every missing assignment and every low test score. I call the parents of the kids who are failing or who have a “D,” or who have a significant amount of missing work. That means that I may not get around to calling you until your kid has fallen substantially behind. If you are checking their grades regularly, you can intervene before a little concern becomes a big problem.

4. Belittling school, education, or us.

I know not everyone values education in the exact same way. For some families it is a number one priority, for others it is barely on the radar. I know you may or may not be thrilled with me as a teacher. However, when you speak poorly about school, education, or my teaching qualifications, you invite your kid to do the same. Most junior high and high school students can’t wait for an opportunity to gripe about stupid school and their mean teachers. When you allow this and, worse, encourage it by doing it yourself, you are setting your kid up for trouble. Undermining the teacher gives kids permission to disregard what the teacher says or requires. Demeaning education does not encourage your child to do their best.  I think we can all agree that having a good education will benefit your child in the long run. Why give them a reason not to achieve?

5. Being a “Helicopter” Parent.

I know that you love your child and that their academic success is important to you. I know that you like being involved in your child’s life. Relax. You don’t need to email or call me every single time your kid forgets to turn something in or gets a “B” on a test. Let them take a little responsibility and learn to advocate for themselves. They will never learn to do it on their own if you are always getting involved. Save the phone calls and emails for the really important stuff.

6. Going to the principal without talking to us first.

You may not appreciate my teaching style. You may not understand why your kid got a “C” instead of a “B.” You may not think it was fair that I gave your child detention. Please. Talk. To. Me. First. There is nothing more embarrassing than having my principal approach me to talk about a parental concern and I have no idea what he is talking about. Most of the time, we will be able to work out our differences on our own. Most of the time it will have been a simple misunderstanding (or misrepresentation) that is causing you concern. If, after talking to me, you still feel unresolved, by all means talk to my principal. But please do me the courtesy of coming to me first.

7. Making excuses for your kid.

This is my number one frustration with teaching—parents who make excuses for their kids. Yes, I realize that there may be very legitimate explanations for kids’ struggles in the classroom. However, if you are always providing an excuse for why your child cannot turn in their assignments on time, study for tests, stay in their seat, be respectful, or tell the truth, then we have a problem. Your kid needs to learn to be responsible for himself. If you are always relieving them of responsibility, they will never learn to be accountable for their actions; they will always think that the rules don’t apply to them. In the real world, the police don’t care why you were speeding, your landlord doesn’t care why you can’t pay rent, and your boss doesn’t care why you were late.

Not So Rotten: Why I Like the Common Core

This may be an unpopular thing for me to say, but I am a teacher, a conservative, and I don't hate the Common Core. 

The Common Core State Standards (CCSS) are simply the next educational trend to come down the pike. It is superior to some previous education initiatives and, perhaps, inferior to others. I am not naïve enough to believe that the CCSS is the answer to all of the problems plaguing public schools today; nevertheless, I do see several advantages.

Lately there has been a lot of discussion about the Common Core. Many people have weighed in on the discussion and have offered their ardent opinions (no experience or expertise necessary) as to why the standards are good or bad. I have seen critiques based on blatantly false information (No, the CCSS is not eliminating the classics from school curriculum; on the contrary, many classic novels and primary source documents are among the recommended reading in the CCSS English Language Arts Appendices). I have also read concerns about the level of federal involvement, the difficulty of the CCSS at the elementary level, the poor implementation of standards, and various problems with CCSS curriculum and assessments. I cannot attest to the validity of all of these arguments, and I cannot address the myriad issues that have been expressed regarding the mathematics standards. However, I can describe my experience with the English Language Arts Literacy standards for History/ Social Studies, and my impression of the CCSS in general.

1. The Common Core allows teachers more freedom in the classroom.

I am a “highly qualified” professional educator. I appreciate being trusted to make decisions regarding curriculum and instruction in my classroom. The Common Core affords me that opportunity. Contrary to criticisms that the CCSS impose a “one-size-fits-all” curriculum on states, and dictate what teachers ought to teach, I find that the CCSS allow me greater freedom as an educator. 

Previous social studies standards had an overabundance of prescribed topics and themes, often with a fixed chronological order. Social studies content has great breadth; under the old standards, teachers struggled to teach all the required topics, at the expense of reaching any significant level of depth. Depth and, by default, engagement and critical thinking were often sacrificed as teachers rushed through the content. Teachers resorted to bombarding students with incomprehensible facts and dates—boring and overwhelming the majority of them. 

Rather than require teachers to cover a broad range of topics, the Common Core, as applied to social studies, has three areas of emphasis: reading, writing, and speaking and listening.  In the CCSS, students are taught to read and understand informational texts, think critically, support arguments with evidence, articulate ideas, and respond thoughtfully to others’ ideas through the medium of social studies (or science, or language arts). 

2. The Common Core emphasizes the use of primary sources.

As any social studies teacher knows, the use of primary souces is essential to effective teaching. Primary sources—first-hand historical accounts and documents that were created in the time period to which they refer—are uncolored by modern interpretations or biases. They also give the reader the opportunity to gain a first-hand perspective of the people who actually experienced historical events. When using primary sources, students are forced to draw their own conclusions, rather than the sometimes shallow, cookie cutter explanations and interpretations offered by many textbooks. The CCSS recommends the use of primary documents in the social studies classroom, some of the recommended documents include: Winston Churchill’s speech “Blood, Toil, Tears, and Sweat,” the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution, and the Gettysburg Address. 

3. The Common Core State Standards begin with what students ought to know upon graduation from high school and work backwards.

This particular feature of the Common Core has been criticized by many elementary school teachers. I am not an elementary school teacher, and I cannot confirm the appropriateness of the CCSS at the elementary level, one way or the other. However, I do believe that the basic premise of starting at high school and working backwards is sound. It is similar to “Backward Design,” an instructional method that most teachers are taught in their teacher education courses, regardless of grade level. In Backward Design, teachers start by focusing on the ultimate knowledge students need to learn in a particular unit. Teachers then work backwards by determining how to assess whether or not the objective has been met, and devising lessons to move students toward the objective. After all, if you were planning a road trip you would first need to determine where you were going before you could decide how to get there. If high school graduation and “college and career readiness” is the ultimate goal of our school systems, it makes sense that we start with the ultimate objective and  work in reverse to determine what students need to learn at each grade along the way.

4. The Common Core focuses on college and career readiness.

Like it or not, our schools are failing miserably in preparing our children for life after high school. Too many students leave high school with sub-par academic skills and are wholly unprepared for the sheer amount of reading and writing required by even basic freshmen level courses. The academic gap between senior year of high school and freshmen year of college is proving too wide for many students to bridge. Similarly, whether they choose to pursue college or enter the workforce immediately after graduation, high school graduates are fundamentally lacking in critical skills. The CCSS stress the importance of critical thinking, problem solving, evidence-based arguments, speaking and listening skills, and the reading of informational texts (ie: not just stories).

5. The Common Core concentrates on critical thinking.

Too often in my classroom, I am faced with students who simply want to know where to find the answer. They don’t want to engage their brains, they don’t want to investigate or discover, they simply want to skim a textbook for a keyword and find a “fill-in-the-blank” answer. While this is partly due to stereotypical adolescent laziness, it is also due to flaws in our educational model. Students are bombarded with so much information (see point #1) that there is little time for true engagement with the material. Teachers are so concerned with covering content and increasing test scores, that there is no time left for authentic learning. In my experience, when presented with an engaging topic and a stimulating question, students’ love of learning is re-awakened. Junior high students love to talk. They love to debate and argue. The Common Core emphasizes classroom discourse. Students are encouraged to wrestle with difficult topics, form opinions based on textual evidence, express those opinions effectively in written and oral form, listen to others’ opinions, and respond thoughtfully and respectfully. They are encouraged to evaluate information, draw conclusions, create analogies and examples, design and test solutions, discuss, debate, and THINK!

6. The Common Core is more challenging, and sets the bar higher, than many current academic standards.

An unfortunate side-effect of well-intentioned efforts like full-inclusion and No Child Left Behind, has led to a “dumbing-down” of curriculum. Really excellent teachers are able to effectively differentiate instruction and meet the needs of every student. However, most teachers are over-worked and underpaid. Teachers are expected to teach 30 students ranging in ability from high needs special education student to ELL student to gifted and talented student, and maintain classroom discipline—often with inadequate planning time, poor resources and little support. What’s more, issuing a failing grade is heavily frowned upon. In many schools, teachers are forced to justify failing a student through documentation of parent phone calls, conferences, academic interventions, etc. No Child Left Behind adds additional pressure to pass standardized tests through federal financial incentives. All this, has led to widespread teacher burnout and, in some instances, to a reduction in rigor. An overworked teacher may make schoolwork easier so as to accommodate poorly performing students. A district faced with cuts in federal funding may opt for easier standardized tests to ensure that more students demonstrate academic progress. The CCSS sets high standards for all schools to meet.

7. The Common Core State Standards are the same in all states (that have adopted them).

This aspect of the Common Core has garnered a great deal of criticism, particularly among conservatives. Personally, I prefer the federal government to have minimal involvement in education, and believe that past federal initiatives (No Child Left Behind) have often been detrimental to the quality of American education. However, like it or not, the federal government is already involved in our schools through NCLB, Title I, and a host of other programs linked to federal funding. The Common Core is not a federally mandated curriculum. States have many educational choices—states can choose whether or not to adopt the CCS, how and when to implement the standards, and what specific curriculum to employ. All the CCSS is, is a set of basic standards that delineate what all American students should be able to reach in order to be considered proficient at a given grade level. 

These type of consistent standards are sorely overdue. What students learn in 5th grade in Alabama is not what students learn in 5th grade in Minnesota. This can be problematic when students move from one state to another and are faced with an increase in rigor. Also, if the gap in rigor continues through high school, a high school diploma in California is not equal a high school diploma in Massachusetts. The reverberations of these gaps are even found at the college level and beyond.

As I stated previously, the Common Core is far from perfect and is certainly not an instant fix for our struggling school system. However, there are many positive aspects that I believe have been ignored in all the political posturing, misinformation, and alarmism that have surrounded them.

For more information, or read the standards for yourself. Please visit the CCSS website. 

http://www.corestandards.org/

Three Reasons to Support School Dress Code

With all the recent controversy surrounding school dress codes and the rights of students—particularly teenage girls—to dress how they want, I felt the need to sound-off on the subject myself. My opinion is based on good old fashioned common sense and a little wisdom gleaned from my experiences as a woman, a teacher, and a mother, as well as evidence from recent psychological and sociological studies. 

Let me first start by defining dress code. A dress code is an expectation of dress applied to all students in all situations. Violations of this dress code have a known and consistent set of consequences. For example, at my daughters’ junior high school, students are expected to wear shorts and skirts no shorter than six inches above the knee. Pants of both boys and girls are to be worn at the waist/ hips (rather than sagging). Shirts must not have any inappropriate, obscene or offensive images or language (this can be a gray area, but generally is understood by most students). Shirts and dresses must have straps a minimum of two finger-widths. Clothing may not be see-through. Students may not wear pajamas to school, and may not have visible undergarments. Hats and sunglasses may not be worn in the building. I believe this is a very reasonable, and fairly standard, dress code.

1. School dress codes teach students that there is a time and a place for different types of dress.

This is perhaps the number one argument for a school dress code. I recently saw a young woman wearing a bikini in the grocery store. Customers stopped to stare at her, and a few snapped pictures on their cell phones. Store management asked the young lady to leave the store and come back when she had put on some more clothing. This was not discriminatory, as the store has a “no shirt, no shoes, no service” policy and a man dressed in similar beachwear would have been asked to put on a shirt or leave as well. The young lady, while perfectly attired for the beach or the pool, where she would not have created any sensation at all, was shockingly underdressed for most other public places. 

Similarly, a man or woman working in an office is expected to dress professionally. I have worked in several office settings and have seen my co-workers addressed for failing to meet standards of professional dress. Some were dressed too casually, in a t-shirt and jeans, some were dressed too provocatively, in skin tight pants with a visible thong and low-cut blouse. Both of these examples may have been perfectly appropriate at home or for a night out on the town, but were grossly inappropriate in a professional environment.
Why should our schools be any different? Students need to learn that there are societal expectations for appropriate dress, language, and behavior in different situations. What one wears to sleep in, one does not wear to a job interview. What one might wear to the beach is inappropriate in a classroom. The job of schools is to prepare students to live and work in the real world. Schools ought not to be simply a social club, but rather a setting for intense academics, and intellectual and social development. Teenagers ought to see themselves, and be treated as, professional students. School is their job. They are investing in their futures, so that one day they will be prepared for college and/ or the work place—learning appropriate dress is a vital part of that preparation.

2. School dress codes help to reduce distractions in the classroom.

As a junior high and high school teacher, I can tell you that teachers and students are fighting a never ending battle against distractions both in and out of the classroom. Students are distracted by their peers and their peers’ clothing. Adolescents are worried about their own appearance and are constantly comparing themselves to others. Teachers have to compete with cell phones, iPods, raging hormones, personal drama, and sleepy and hungry kids, among other things. When students are allowed to wear clothing that is offensive or distracting, the problem is amplified.
Distracting and inappropriate clothing may even contribute to discipline issues. In her blog post, “Dress Code Or Not, What You Wear Matters,” Eva Rykrsmith cites a study from the Evolution and Human Behavior Journal. In this study, behavior at a roller rink was observed on both nights with a strict dress code and nights without. The study noted that on nights with a strict dress code there were less accidents and less noise. The scientists concluded that individuals change their behavior in accordance with their clothing. http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/2012/05/23/dress-code-or-not-what-you-wear-matters/
Like it or not, boys are distracted by the dress of their female classmates. This has nothing to do with males not respecting females, as has been the popular accusation. The biological reality is that teenage boys are attracted to the opposite sex and are preoccupied with sexuality. It is also a well-known biological fact that men are visual creatures.
Girls can also be distracted by their provocatively dressed peers. I have been one of those girls, and my 7th grade daughter is one of those girls. Women and girls dress as much for each other as they do for themselves and boys/ men. Even as a teacher, it can be difficult to not be distracted by how some of my students are dressed. The same holds true for young men who choose to sag their pants, or anyone who wears an obscene or offensive t-shirt. All of these things are distracting from the true purpose of school—learning—not self-expression, not popularity, not anything else.

3. School dress codes help both boys and girls to respect themselves and each other.

One of the most prominent arguments against school dress codes is that it unfairly targets girls and denies them self-expression, or teaches them to be ashamed of their bodies. I disagree 100%!
First, while some dress codes may be unevenly applied, that is not a reason to discount the dress code itself. Dress codes ought to be re-written to apply to both genders and ought to be applied objectively and consistently. The dress code at my daughter’s school does just that. It does not discriminate based on gender and it is evenly and consistently applied.
Second, while self-expression is important, there is a time and a place. Teenagers need to learn that. So much of their world, from celebrities to social media has become about the glorification of the self. They are inundated with images of Miley Cyrus twerking and flouting conventions left and right, celebrity nude photo leaks and the open book that is social media. Teenagers often are confused about what is in fact appropriate. They struggle with setting, maintaining, and respecting boundaries. They need to learn that the real world is not like Hollywood or Facebook or Instagram. In the real world, few people care how wonderful you think you are or even, sadly, about your opinion on real issues. In the real world, there are consequences to baring it all metaphorically or in actuality.
Third, dress codes do not teach girls to be ashamed of their bodies. They teach girls that their bodies are their property and ought to be respected and revered. I believe that allowing young women to dress provocatively exacerbates existing gender inequality and creates self-esteem issues. Many girls do not dress provocatively for a variety of reasons. Perhaps their parents do not allow them to dress provocatively, maybe they lack the body confidence to flaunt themselves, or possibly they simply do not want to. Young women often feel a tremendous amount of pressure to fit in with their peers and to gain attention from boys. They may feel pressured to dress a certain way to fit the norms of dress established by their peers. This pressure may cause girls to disobey their parents, compromise their own standards, or to feel ashamed of their body because how they look in a skimpy skirt is very different from how some of their peers look in skimpy skirts.
Particularly during adolescence, the type of clothing an individual wears has a definite effect on self-esteem and perceptions of self. According to another study cited by Rykrsmith, how an individual dresses may also affect their performance. The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology measured student performance while wearing the same white coat. Half of the students were told it was a doctor’s coat, and half were told it was a painter’s coat. The half that believed they were wearing a doctor’s coat showed higher levels of attention than those who believed they were wearing a painter’s coat. http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/2012/05/23/dress-code-or-not-what-you-wear-matters/
As far as gender equality and respect, allowing young women to display themselves like merchandise in the hallowed halls of a school building only reinforces the misconceptions that many may already have—that young women are not in school to learn, but to find a boyfriend or get attention. How are we to teach young men to respect young women when they are being bombarded with these types of mixed messages? While I certainly do not condone the objectification of their female classmates nor do I think clothing alone is the reason for this, it is an aspect of this ugly reality. 

Reasonable and fair dress codes are an essential aspect of a productive school environment. A study published by Jimmy Creel and Angela Stallings of Sam Houston State University’s Center for Research and Doctoral Studies in Educational Leadership attempted to measure the effects of a school dress code on student achievement. While Creel and Stallings concluded that the dress code did not have an immediate significant impact on student achievement, Stallings did note that, "It is possible, based on our findings, that the benefits of a standardized dress code implemented and maintained over time may very well have a positive effect on student achievement.” Furthermore, Creel stated that there were other benefits, such as, "improved campus morale and reduced discipline violations, increased school pride, improved collaboration and teamwork among students . . . [and] enhanced image of students and the school in the community, minimization of the effects of economic variations among students, and reduction in the overall cost of student wardrobes." http://www.shsu.edu/~pin_www/T@S/2001/DressCode.html